The Complex Motions of the Earth, and Me, Through the Universe

I was recently asked to fill out form for an office party...a funny trivia kind of thing...what's your favorite color, car, etc.

We were also asked to tell the farthest distance we had travelled. I ended up writing New York on the form, but the question took my mind back to a late night party when I used astronomy to try and measure how far I had travelled in my life.

After a few drinks at that late night party...many years ago, I found myself alone, sitting on the roof, and watching the stars twirl around.

I started figuring directions...

The Earth is spinning around it's axis at 0.5 kilometers a second.

The Earth is revolving around the Sun at 30 kilometers a second.

The Sun is revolving around the Milky Way Galaxy at 250 kilometers a second.

The Milky Way Galaxy is revolving around with the Local Group of galaxies at 300 kilometers a second.

Total rate of distances traveled … 580.5 kilometers a second
____

There are 31,536,000 seconds in a year.

My age is 52 ... 31536000 seconds X 52 years = 1,639,872,000 seconds

So I have lived (roughly, so far) 1,639,872,000 seconds ...
(1.6 billion seconds).

1639872000 seconds X 580.5 kilometers = 951945696000 kilometers

951,945,696,000 kilometers = 591,511,632,000 miles

So, in my life, so far, I have traveled...

(roughly, and in circles mostly)

...about 591 billion miles.

I didn't put that figure on the form for the office party. They think I am odd enough already.
____

But many years ago at that late night party, in a meditative state, after a few drinks, I was sitting on the roof of my shed watching the stars twirl around, and I completed all of the calculations.

I included the widening gyres caused by the Earth's rotational tilt, 23 degrees, and the tilt of the Solar System's orbit relative to the Sun's movement though the Milky Way.

I guessed at the direction of the Milky Way's orbit within the Local Group of galaxies.

And lastly I included the direction of the Local Group moving away from the point of the Big Bang (another estimate to be sure).

While I was figuring and estimating and "feeling" the various directions, all of a sudden the equations came together in my mind.

I looked toward a point in the sky and quietly said: "There."

Suddenly my head smacked back against the asphalt shingles. My cheeks were stretched back towards my ears. My spine flattened. My vision darkened and blurred.

The acceleration pressure nailed me to the roof.

I was crushed by my new found discovery of Universal Velocity.

It only lasted a fraction of a second...or a lifetime.

And then I lost consciousness.